The Incident

I've had such overwhelming positive feedback from my first post that I've decided to go into a little more detail regarding "the incident" I had referenced. Im not looking for sympathy of any kind here. I've more than made my peace with this, but I know that sharing these stories can be incredibly therapeutic. All I hope to accomplish here is to open a dialogue and hopefully help somebody else rise above a similar situation.

I had been living with Peter for over a year already so I was familiar with his drunken outbursts. There had been several instances before where he would become irate over the most mundane things. He'd pack my suitcase and throw it into the front yard demanding that I take my kids and leave. Only to quickly change his tune once I gathered my belongings and tell me that if I was to leave the property he would change the locks and I'd be homeless. Another time he drove me to the local grocery store, kicked me out in the parking lot and then proceeded to drive around in circles screaming profanities at me.

We had already been evicted from a previous residence for the amount of yelling and fighting that was happening and had only been living in this house about a month or so. Peter decided after dinner one night that he was going to go down the street to rent a movie. I was happy at any excuse he had to leave the house, as it provided he kids and myself with some relief from his constant watching. He would literally sit at the dinner table starting at my son, waiting for him to cut his meat wrong or chew with his mouth open. Any reason at all to berate and belittle him. I took the opportunity to bathe the kids and read them stories before tucking them into bed.

It took a while before I realized Peter had been gone far longer than he should have been, and I decided to sleep on the couch. He came home after the bar closed (big surprise) so drunk that he fell down the stairs. After clambering back to the top I was informed that he was driving across town to get food. Rather than end up underneath him and his drunken rage, I just sat quietly and hoped that if he were to kill anybody on the way, it would only be himself.

The next morning as I was serving my children breakfast, Peter made his way into the kitchen to inform me of my duties for the day. I was to drive him to an Addictions meeting in a town that was 3 hours away. I couldn't even believe what he was saying to me. He was likely still drunk from the night before and he was planning on attending a meeting with an addictions counsellor to get his drivers license back!? The idea was ludicrous and when I told him so he flew into a rage.

Im not sure I should go into specifics, or if I could even remember everything clearly. All I really remember is pure chaos. In the end he had me on the bed and was straddling me with both hands around my throat. I'm not sure if he let me up or what happened, but I remember making my way up the stairs and him grabbing me from behind. With a handful of my hair, he repeatedly smashed my face into the steps. Like a reflex, the second he let up, I stood up and punched him as hard as I could in the eye, ran upstairs and called the police.

Peter was taken into custody that morning and held because of the nature of the call. I had a decision to make. Do I stay in this house in this town and risk him coming back tomorrow and the whole cycle starting over? No. I decided I had to make a real change. I called my friend in the next city over and told her what happened. She was on her way over before we hung up the phone.

I packed 2 changes of clothes for both my kids and left that morning.

I was lucky enough to have a good friend who let us sleep on her couches for the next couple of months. My kids were sharing a love seat for a bed, wearing the same 3 outfits for 2 months, but I hadn't seen either one of them as happy in a long long time. That was enough for me, the smiles on their faces and just knowing that my kids could act like kids and not have to worry about anything. They lost all of their worldly possessions, but what we had gained was so much greater. Peace of mind.

Its easy to say "just leave" but if you're living in it every day, its not always that simple. We've seen the ramifications from unstable men like this in the past. We were lucky. Not everybody gets out alive. Just know you're not alone and there is definately a way out. Just take the first step and tell someone.

-Dash